Reasons I have not updated this blog lately:
1. I had to walk my pet cauliflower.
2. I have discovered the joy of vanilla vodka martinis. They Absolut-ly awesome. (Ahem, Absolut, I'd like payment for that name-drop, please.)
3. I've been preparing frantically for the Zombie Apocalyse, aka the Esprit de Corpse art show I am holding with my dear undead artist pals Charlotte and Kitty. So far, this has involved battling for space on the craft table with a giant black-and-white striped zombie octopus who may or may not be a ninja in his time off, decapitating a Barbie doll and working out exactly which type of wool makes the best sort of brains for a ghoulish zombie critter made from an airline sock. (I can tell you now in all honesty, wool does not work, you're better off with felt and a lot of hand stitching. Take that, Martha Stewart, I bet even you did not know that.)
Come and see the results of all this unscientific experimentation - opening night is Friday, November 4 from 6pm at Egg Gallery, 66a Johnston St, Collingwood (opposite the Tote). Prizes will be awarded for those who turn up dressed as zombies. (Although by 'prizes' I mean 'you shall be spared from the brain-sucking activities of any other zombies present', which is a pretty good prize really. You might also get a gourmet dinner cooked by me if you're lucky, but seeing as my cooking skills only go as far as opening a box of Barbecue Shapes, don't get too excited about this. Hello, Arnott's, cough up.)
ANHOO, as Mr T would have said if he was into the walking undead, I pity the ghoul who does not turn up to this show! Be there or be dead, in fact if you ARE dead, you should definitely turn up, we will put you on display as a piece of modernist realist artwork...