Open up and say braaaaaaaains

Appropriately enough, there were bodies everywhere at last night's opening of Esprit de Corpse, the zombie-themed art exhibition I'm holding with my undead artist pals Charlotte and Kitty. (Yes, the same show I've been banging on about for a few weeks now. Fret not, it has all come to a (severed) head and this will be the last you hear of it. Just tumour me a while longer, OK?)

Oh, and some of these pics come courtesy of my sister, Leeyong. You can read a far more reliable account of the night on her blog here.

And, courtesy of Kitty and Charlotte, you can see pics of us installing the show right through to pics of us celebraaaaining its opening here.

Why helloooooo there! These three lovely ladies would like to EAT YOUR BRAAAAAAAAINS. That's me wearing traditional Melbourne black, with the corpse-a-licious Charlotte in blue and gore-geous Kitty in envy-inducing green.

Kitty gazed lovingly at the dead bird on my head.
'Egad!' I cried, 'there's a dismembered My Little Pony upon your noggin!'

My colleague Michael and I rose up from a particularly hellish grave.
Well, OK, from the office. Same thing.

Prior to the show opening, Kitty gave me two black eyes. Luckily Clive, my bodyguard, turned up to prevent any more. It was just like in that crap film with Whitney Houston. Who's up for a rousing rendition of 'I will always love yooooooooou'? No, me either. I prefer the way more romantic 'Til death do us part - and then we shall return as zombies!' which was on someone's iPod shuffle...heh.

Lans tried to blend in with the artwork.

So did our Zombie Burlesque lass...

...Who kicked off her heels, one of which landed in the wall and stayed there.
Take that, Hollywood special effects!

Charlotte convinced the crowd she was bloody innocent.
Kitty didn't look so certain.





By the end of the night I had truly suffered for my art.

Now it's your turn.

If you missed opening night, you've got another fortnight to see the show at

Egg Gallery, 66a Johnston Street, Collingwood.

We've hit the big time! Well, mX at least

Oooh look, me and Charlotte are in today's mX newspaper!The lovely Nicole Cleary took this photo while I was attempting to look like a squinting horse. That's Charlotte on the right, probably wondering why I am such a nuffy. If you have extremely good eyesight you'll be able to read the accompanying caption which is spruiking our art show, Esprit de Corpse. And just for the record, the giant zombie octopus behind us is a BOY, not an Octomummy - you can tell because he is extremely well-endowed where it matters most...in the...er...tentacles. Ahem.

Making (severed) head lines

Regular readers of this blog most probably have a diet high in fibre and will most definitely know all about my impending dooooooom, er, impending zombie-themed art show, Esprit de Corpse, since that's pretty much all I've been banging on about lately. But why just read what I've got to say about it? You can read a much more professional account in Melbourne Times Weekly. Thanks heaps to Al Walsh for his words and Stephen McKenzie for the stellar pic, in which it appears I am trying to eat Charlotte's head.

Wanna see my zombie artworks? Of corpse you do!

Reasons I have not updated this blog lately:

1. I had to walk my pet cauliflower.

2. I have discovered the joy of vanilla vodka martinis. They Absolut-ly awesome. (Ahem, Absolut, I'd like payment for that name-drop, please.)

3. I've been preparing frantically for the Zombie Apocalyse, aka the Esprit de Corpse art show I am holding with my dear undead artist pals Charlotte and Kitty. So far, this has involved battling for space on the craft table with a giant black-and-white striped zombie octopus who may or may not be a ninja in his time off, decapitating a Barbie doll and working out exactly which type of wool makes the best sort of brains for a ghoulish zombie critter made from an airline sock. (I can tell you now in all honesty, wool does not work, you're better off with felt and a lot of hand stitching. Take that, Martha Stewart, I bet even you did not know that.)

Come and see the results of all this unscientific experimentation - opening night is Friday, November 4 from 6pm at Egg Gallery, 66a Johnston St, Collingwood (opposite the Tote). Prizes will be awarded for those who turn up dressed as zombies. (Although by 'prizes' I mean 'you shall be spared from the brain-sucking activities of any other zombies present', which is a pretty good prize really. You might also get a gourmet dinner cooked by me if you're lucky, but seeing as my cooking skills only go as far as opening a box of Barbecue Shapes, don't get too excited about this. Hello, Arnott's, cough up.)

ANHOO, as Mr T would have said if he was into the walking undead, I pity the ghoul who does not turn up to this show! Be there or be dead, in fact if you ARE dead, you should definitely turn up, we will put you on display as a piece of modernist realist artwork...

Mouth of Menace

RAAR! A zombie-work-in-process I be!

Also, speak like Yoda I do!

Partway towards being finished for the Esprit de Corpse show at Egg gallery I am. 

Perfect for brains my massive black gob is.

I crave BRAAAAAAAAINS! Non-grammatically-correct sentences! And...BRAAAAINS!

He's got his father's eyes...

Aw, lookit the widdle baby sock zombie monster, isn't he ka-yooot? 

Look how proud he is that he can feed himself, awwww. 

What's that?

He's got his father's eyes?

Yes, and aren't they love-AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHHH!!!!!!

Death is just the beginning

I like eggs. I like chicken's eggs and chocolate eggs and one of my favourite Mr Bungle songs is called 'Egg'. So I'm pretty eggs-xcitedthat this critter will be in Egg Gallery's opening show on September 23. Yep, it'll be a mad scramble to get there and see this poached critter's head on their walls. No yolk. What's that? I can't hear you over all the groaning over my terrible puns.

The piece is called 'Death is just the beginning' which I confess I ripped off from a Nuclear Blast metal compilation, but since it's a decapitated zombiefied animal's head dripping with blood and gore and mounted in a picture frame, much like what you might find at a zombie hunting lodge frequented by death metal heads, I don't think they will mind. In fact I just googled Nuclear Blast and their bands are a minefield of potential titles for this series of zombie-themed pieces I'm working on. 'Cadaverous mastication' (thank you, Meshuggah) might just make it in if I can work out how to mechanise a corpse-like critter so it looks like it's chewing on braaaaaains. Shouldn't be too hard with my degrees in engineering and bio-mechanics. Cough.

Anyhoo, I'm working on these zombie-like things as part of a zombie-themed art exhibition with the most excellent Charlotte Tizzard and Kitty Robertson, whose hilarious blog you can read here. Charlotte does bee-you-tiful drawings (even her zombies are drop-dead gorgeous) and Kitty's creations are fascinating because they are, well, fascinators. Zombie fascinators. How cool is that? Our zombie show - titled 'Esprit de Corpse', and no, that is not a rip off of a metal band, yours truly thought that one up! - will be at Egg from November 2. Bring your friends, bring your lovers, bring your braaaaaaaains!